Worry Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did the hill that was counting its pocket change say to the other hill?

Don't worry, I'm just amounting.

How do you know whether somebody is a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines?

Panickin' Skywalker.

How do you know a stranger could be an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Oh don't worry, they'll let you know.

How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

Oh don't worry , they'll tell you

How can you tell that someone's a vegan?

Don't worry they'll tell you themselves.

How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Bobby Mcferrin say to his beer?

Don't worry, be hoppy :)

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

How can you tell if someone is an entrepreneur?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

How can you tell if someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch?

Don't worry, they will tell you.

How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

Don't worry they'll tell you

Why are all the fish high?

Because of the seaweed. I've already shown myself out, don't worry.

How do you know if someone's from Texas?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

What fruit worries teenagers the most?

A promegranate.

How do you know if someone was in the navy?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you spot a vegan at a party?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What do you call a thirsty cow?

A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.

Why do women make better pilots than men?

They only have one joystick to worry about.

What did the chicken say ?

What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.

How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know who in the room is a vegetarian?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

How do you know if someone has a Samsung phone without asking?

Don't worry, they've already told you the superior qualities it has over all the other smart phones by this time.

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know when someone is a single mother?

Don't worry! They will tell you!

How do you know your friend has been at the gym?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

How can you tell if someone lifts?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know if there's an athiest on a reddit thread?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

How do you find a vegan at your dinner party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

Don't worry, he'll tell you

Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack?

we have the Iron Giant

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

How do you know when someone smokes weed?

Dont worry, they'll tell you.

What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing?

Sardar 2: Don't worry, I have one more.

How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread?

Don't worry, someone will tell you.

How do you know if a guy was in the Navy SEALs?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

Why are all the users of Ashley Madison worried about their emails leaking?

They will be millionaires when the Nigerian princes finish downloading the file.

This joke may have profanity.

How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

Where did the tornado go?

Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy

How do you know that one of them is a Marine?

Don't worry he'll let you know

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know if someone is a socialist?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.

Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over?

HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES

What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

How do you tell if someone's an introvert?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you tell them apart?

Don't worry. They'll tell you.

How do you know when someone is gluten free?

Don't worry, they'll tell you. "Exit stage right...."

What happened to me?

Snow Doctor: Don't worry you're fine. But... what did you think a snow blower did

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

How can you tell when a German is joking?

Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.

Why was the headmaster worried?

Because there were too many rulers in school!

How do you know that someone likes to smoke weed?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

How can you tell if a person is a vegetarian?

Don't worry. They'll tell you they're a vegetarian.

What is a diss track?

Don't worry about it u prune gash

What's black and white that small children no longer need worry about?

Michael Jackson

How can you tell if someone loves bacon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you that stupid vegan joke.

How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

What is the one thing batman and superman don't have to worry about?

Dad Jokes.

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

How can you tell if someone went to the gym?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

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Entrepreneur Jokes More Entrepreneur Jokes

Why did the entrepreneur decide to go into the landfill business?

He heard it was a growing field.

How can you tell if someone is an entrepreneur?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why can't blondes count to 70?

Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

How British is Adele ?

She would call you at least 1000 times to tell how sorry she is .

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What does a terrorist tell hes son?

Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

What did the teacher think of your idea?

Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!

Plate Jokes More Plate Jokes

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

Whats the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can lick a plate dry

Hill Jokes More Hill Jokes

What is Harry potters favorite way to get down a hill?

Walking....J.K . Rowling

How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it down hill.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

Why couldn't the physicist get the Standard Model to work?

Because it wouldn't commute!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

What do you call a carpenter who needs fewer nails?

Jesus