How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch?

Namaste

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!