What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

How does the stork bring babies?

It pokes holes in condoms.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

Why do Italians wear gold necklaces?

So they know where to stop shaving

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.