What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

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How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan?

Oh don't worry, they'll tell you.

How do you know you're speaking with an engineer?

Don't worry they'll tell you.

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How many mexicans can you fit in a bus?

All of them.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.