What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

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How can you tell if someone is from Texas?

Oh don't worry , they'll tell you

How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

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How many debutants can you fit in ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria?

OC Like, a cotillion of 'em.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.