How can you tell if someone got their dog from a shelter?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares their dogs too much

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the American WWI vet say to the angry German veteran?

Can't we just let Argonne's be Argonne's?

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Who knows, they never get the house.

What's the best part about Switzerland?

I don't know, but their flag's a plus.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call someone who tells too many lame dinosaur jokes?

I dino-bore! . I'm sorry.

How can you tell that a politician lies?

His lips are moving

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

Shelter Jokes More Shelter Jokes

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.