I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when you should get a puppy?

When life's getting a little ruff ...I'll see myself out

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

What do you call the day before a trip to an otolaryngologist?

New Ears Eve

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

Why did the devil buy so many shoes?

He wanted their soles.

How do you know when an introvert is interested in you?

They are looking at your shoes, rather than their own.

Drug Dealer Jokes More Drug Dealer Jokes

How did the gangster know the drug dealer was selling him a bad batch if meth?

He said : "Nah amine"

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

What do you call a cow that just tripped?

Ground Beef

Why do midgets not wear tampons?

They might trip on the string.

Lace Jokes More Lace Jokes

What do you say to your laces to make them go away?

Shoo laces

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!