I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord?

The leash goes slack

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard of hearing?

HEY! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!

How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb?

He buys a new house.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked?

Why can't you get cell phone service when you're naked No shirt, no shoes, no service.

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

Drug Dealer Jokes More Drug Dealer Jokes

Why did the undercover cop throw a wasp nest at the drug dealer?

It was a sting operation.

Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Trip Jokes More Trip Jokes

Why was the drug dealer late?

Because he tripped

What do you call a cow that just tripped?

Ground Beef

Lace Jokes More Lace Jokes

What do you say to your laces to make them go away?

Shoo laces

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..