What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between my face and my jokes?

People laugh at my face.

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

You should know, you've only read it twenty times.

Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?

Because they're too high-strung. Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What do you call a German jerk?

Deutschebag

What do you call an angry German?

a sourkraut

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk???

Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why was Fam's favorite subject English?

Because it's Lit.

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.