What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between former House Speakers Hastert and Pelosi?

Pelosi helped little boys. Hastert banged little boys.

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do black people call each other "son"?

Well, you never know!

How do you know if you're a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the NSA agent say to the other NSA agent when he saw the German Chancellor?

I'd tap that.

How can you tell when a German is joking?

Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

English Jokes More English Jokes

Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer

What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg?

Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

Scot Jokes More Scot Jokes

What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a Scot?

One says "hey, you, get off of my cloud", and the other says "hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe".

How did the Scot die?

He got kilt.