How can you tell when a girl is vegan?

She'll tell you

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How do you know that you are a redditor?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

How many times we need to tell you that she died?

Man: It pleases me to listen that she died.

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What do you get the girl who has everything?

Penicillin.

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

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What did the carnivore say to the vegan?

That's a missed-steak"

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.