Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

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What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before.

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Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

What do you call someone who takes everything literally?

A kleptomaniac!