What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"

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Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

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What's the best thing about dating twenty nine year olds?

The get all you '90s references.

How do you know when you're lonely?

When 90% of your search history is ASMR videos.