What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!"

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What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

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What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s?

Pol Potting mix.

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)