What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What did one deodorant say to the other?

I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong.

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs understand puns?

They always take things literally.

How are an armless man at a buffet and a kleptomaniac the same?

They just can't help themselves.