Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

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Because it was found on the ground.

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You better not try to start anything.

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Kanye's not him.

What is Jesus' favorite video game on earth?

I am bread.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

What did Jesus say after he was resurrected?

Nailed it

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What does the Russian President enjoy having on his fries?

Putine...

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So the deaf can enjoy them too.

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A Regis Error.

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Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What's the same about nail care and black people?

They're both manicures

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.