Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why doctor?

Doctor: "Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."

What do you call a quadruple amputee trying to swim?

Bob. Same guy laying on the floor Matt. Same guy hanging on the wall Art. Same guy in a mailbox Bill.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What could you bring to this company?

Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to.

Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead?

Tupac - Biggie Smalls - Eazy E - Meek Mills

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What's round and black and blue?

A blueberry that occasionally gets hit by her husband

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?

A. The cold shoulder.

Salon Jokes More Salon Jokes

What's the perfect name for a salon run by a couple of lesbian nuns?

Scissor Sisters *ba-dum-tiss*

Why are bears so hairy ?

They don't have salons in the jungle !

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

How long is a pedicure?

2 feet.