How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

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How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

How did she tell them apart?

She looked at their last names...

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What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

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Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized