Pronounce Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What do you have left after you burn a French alphabet?

H Edit: I don't like explaining jokes but since the first guy didn't get I might as well: When pronounced in a French accent it sounds like ash.

How to tell if someone has Rhotacism?

Ask them to pronounce it.

How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

Why don't black people like pirates?

they pronounce everything with a hard "aargh"

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?

Because if there were one more, it'd be two forty. (Too farty) This works much better when spoken out loud. The joke how Irish people pronounce "forty."

What's a pirate's favorite workout program?

Pirates (pronounced like pilates)

What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon?

The second m is silent.

What are Mario's overalls made of?

denim denim denim (pronounced with the Mario underground theme)

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

When it's a legal matter, it's pronounced o-FENCE. When it's sports, it's pronounced OFF-ence. Climbing... ?

A fence.

Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner?

Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho". ;;

What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum?

A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)

Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard?

ROBOT: twitch, spark

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

What is your reason for divorce?

She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville?

I pronounce it Frankfort.

How do you pronounce the "Pao" in "Power'?

deleted

How do you pronounce "nihilism?

It doesn't matter

Why isn't the word gangster pronounced Jang-ster?

Because there ain't no such thing as a soft 'G.'

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Recruiter Jokes More Recruiter Jokes

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ?

Q: Why did the recruiter hire a Spider ? A: Because he wanted to hire a Strong "Web Developer".

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

Jamaican Jokes More Jamaican Jokes

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

How do Jamaican's end their prayers?

Ey mon.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why should we hire you?

Me: Well, if you hire me, I will make all of your other employees look FANTASTIC by comparison.

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

What language do they speak in Cuba ?

Cubic !

Kentucky Jokes More Kentucky Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the state line?

He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!

How can you tell that the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because it is not called a teethbrush.

Climb Jokes More Climb Jokes

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

Graphic Designer Jokes More Graphic Designer Jokes

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?

Adobe.