Plumber Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word 'unionized'.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist?

Pronounce this word: unionized

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Whats a Plumber's favorite vegetable?

A Leek!

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common?

They both like a good, tight seal.

What vegetables do plumbers hate the most?

Leeks

Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?

Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

You might also enjoy:

Clog Jokes More Clog Jokes

What's a plumber's least favorite type of shoe?

Clogs.

What's with those clogs you keep wearing?

I replied, "Wooden shoe like to know."

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Why u bean like this?

SMACK "Don't u carrot all " CRACK

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What does a Mexican Morpheus say?

Neo, you are the Juan ... I'll show myself the door...

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

Drain Jokes More Drain Jokes

Why are Plumbers always so tired?

Because their job is draining.

Why's the sink depressed?

It's been feeling drained

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

Who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour. Guess who is happy to see you when you open the trunk

Why did Jesus Christ go to the doctor?

His resurrection lasted more than four hours.

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ?

Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector.

What do you call the statistics for the total amount of waste produced by the US this year?

Gross

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Wendy die?

The baconator

What would you get if Geddy Lee, Neil Peart and Alex Lifeson all died in a plane crash?

Take your time, there's no Rush...