How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What do Green Eggs and Ham, and Fifty Shades of Gray have in common?

They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks?

Because it's black. Sorry.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What's a drug addict's favorite music genre?

Crack rock

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died?

Barium

What do you do to a chemist after they're dead?

you barium

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How can you tell a chemist from a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

Determine Jokes More Determine Jokes

How did the police determine which turtle ate the diamond ring?

They conducted an in-turtle investigation.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

Market Jokes More Market Jokes

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

Why are housing prices in Toronto falling?

Because the market got flooded.