How do you tell the difference between ...

What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a cow isn't listening to you?

Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

What are some good Asian jokes you know?

I read some jokes from this sub to my Asian co-worker and she wanted me to ask if you guys have some good Asian jokes to help us get through the rest of the work day.

Karma Jokes More Karma Jokes

Who has the most karma on Reddit?

Buddha.

What's the stupidest, most useless comment that can still earn you some karma?

This

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

What did one plumber say to the other plumber?

Pipe down.

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!"

Why does Mommy always say no?

Well Son, if Mommy said yes all the time you'd have 20 more siblings.

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

What do you call a nine-sided polygon that wishes to remain anonymous?

anonagon.

3000 Jokes More 3000 Jokes

What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at The Alamo?

They only had 4 cars.

Himher Jokes More Himher Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it may take him/her more than five years to do it.