When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do Italian men wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

How do you know a mod of /r/jokes is Asian?

dereted

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician ?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

How do you find out what's in an e-cigarette?

Just ask someone not to smoke it next to you.

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left! Bwahahahahaha

What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs?

A pair of polegics!

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why the long pause?

asks the bartender. The bear replies "Well, I am a bear"

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

What did the little boy say to the priest?

Haha, now we have AIDS

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why is 1 disapproving of 6?

That one doesn't believe in six before marriage.

How is marriage and CPR training the same?

You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?

Mum: "Just to make sure"

What do I have in common with neutrinos?

We are both constantly penetrating your mum.