When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the horse say to the other horse?

Hay,I thought you knew horses couldn't speak!

What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady?

but we would never know because he couldn't stand up

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What was Ryu's response when someone asked if they could have his autograph?

Sure you can!"

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a "crazy cat lady?

None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Whatever shall we do?

Let us spray!" replied the other.

When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?

so we can both sound useless.

Little Boy Jokes More Little Boy Jokes

Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

Why did the fianc say "Yes!" and why did the little boy say "No!"?

He went to Jared.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

Why were Popeye's forearms so big?

Because Olive Oyl was saving herself for marriage.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why doesn't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.

How would you describe the woman who attacked you?

Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*