Your mum
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Either your mum, your wife or you.
Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).
Mini-Mum
Because of their Crystal Balls EDIT: I'm not sure if anyone's posted this before my mum's sister emailed her from across the globe.(New Zealand) I laughed so hard I thought I'd put it here. Credit goes to my Mum's sister though.
My mum.
We are both constantly penetrating your mum.
Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*
Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd
His mum had been a wafer too long.
Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.
Couple's Daily Question Mug
She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long
asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'
A minimum.
When they scream they make no sense
Mum: "Just to make sure"
I went to Canada with my mum once"
Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.
Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element.
Your mum doesn't starlings.
Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill."
Gloves. Ha! Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
That you to fart.
A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors )
They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)
Step one: penetrate the student body.
To forget
What's the Difference between a tea bag and a used tampon - I dunno... - I'm never drinking tea at your house again then!
It's Gonna be Pee"
Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."
Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*
Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried.
Curt 'n Rod
Because n always has to be the center of attention.
We thank you Lord for our daily dead!
Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave
