How would you describe the woman who attacked you?

Describes mother* *Gets a copy of picture* *Gives it to mum as late birthday present*

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"

What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days?

Her husband's salary.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What kind of pictures do turtles take?

Shellfies!

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

When you guys describe me to your families do you use the word tigress?

I'd prefer if you included tigress

How do you describe a Swede, who's not really a Swede?

Swed-ish.

Attack Jokes More Attack Jokes

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

What do Australian terrorists say before attacking?

Uluruakbar

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why is Grace never thirsty?

Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

Copy Jokes More Copy Jokes

Why do blondes occupy about 90% of the net bandwidth?

A: Because they keep accidentally deleting their copies of the blonde joke list.

Why Do Republican Couples Keep A Copy Of Ronald Reagan's Biography Next To Their Bed?

So that it can be used as an