Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

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What would happen if all Chinese people jumped off a chair, all at the same time?

I don't know either, but you would need a reeeally big chair!

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

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What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer?

A hole in Juan

What has two holes and smells a lot?

Your nose

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What does a scientist who has an epiphany while peeing say?

Urea!

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

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Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb?

Too much work.

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

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What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style?

Schrdinger's cut

Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing?

Because it's non binary

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How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

What is the point of owning a fish?

They are just furniture with the ability to die.

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Why are quantum physicists the kinkiest of all scientists?

They have the ability to penetrate both holes at the same time. explanation(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-slitexperiment)

How are getting popular in high school and getting a college woman pregnant similar?

Step one: penetrate the student body.