What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's it called when you try a different flavor of salsa?

A change of pace.

Why are there school shootings?

Mr.Garrison: "Let's start the day with a world news question. Why are there school shootings?" The media: "Violent video games?" Mr.Garrison: "Okay, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

What's a Chinese woman called with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene. (Normally start this as a two part joke with, "What do you call a woman with... Ilene." Ha... But figured everyone had already heard that).

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."

What do Steve Harvey and a dentist have in common?

They're both experts at placing temporary crowns.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What's the difference between drunk people and black people?

Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.

Why couldn't the chord get into the bar?

She was A minor.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb?

Too much work.

Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

What Pokmon does the best with the ladies?

Charm-ander

Who was that at the door?

Veronica: A lady with a baby in a buggy. Mrs Brown: Tell her to push off. "

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

What do you call a mammoth who conducts an orchestra?

Tuskanini.