What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?"

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How do you tell if a woman is a feminist?

She'll tell you within five minutes.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

Pregnant.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Where does Ned Flanders pick up women?

On OkilyDokilyCupid

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?

Any place without a drive-up window.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How did the Ethiopian escape prison?

He squeezed through the bars.

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

Why didn't the physicist like his cheesecake?

Because the quark had a strange flavour

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Why do bananas get all the ladies?

Because they have appeal

What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow?

you seamstressed

Conduct Jokes More Conduct Jokes

What was the musician doing when he was struck by lightning?

He was conducting.

What did the physicist say to the two women he was trying to pick up at the bar?

Do you ladies wanna go back to my place and conduct a double slit experiment?"