What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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What's 41 times 11?

I can't find the answer anywhere.

What's the difference between awkward and awful?

Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her

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What do you call a potato that's reluctant to try new things?

A Hesi-tater

How do you make a racing snail faster?

I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.

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Why was that guy yelling at you?

flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.