What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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What do you think about the coming battle General?

God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.

What is most commonly found in cells?

Apparently "black people" was not the right answer

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How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

Why should you try to date girls you meet at the gym?

Because you already know she'll work out.

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How was work?

flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast" me:Good

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."