What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Fish. I got this from bash.org a long time ago, but I can't find the original post, so have this

What did Waldo say at the Superbowl?

I'm just here so I won't get find.

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What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

Why is Yoda Programming full of exceptions ?

Because there is no try.

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Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."