What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."

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Why did the Raisin take a Prune to the Prom?

Because he couldn't find a Date!

Why doesn't Bono like Google?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for.

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What's better than a tall woman wrapping her legs around you?

A short woman trying like hell.

What do you call someone who keeps trying to catch your interest even though you already said you're not interested several times?

Windows 10.

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Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.