When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car."

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why are your eyes red?

Are you high! flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over me: Yes

Why was the band late to their gig?

Because the drummer locked himself in the car with the keys.

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Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates. I'm sorry I'll find my own way out

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Redditor say when... What did Redditor say when asked why he failed his PSAT test?

TL;DR"

Why ever not?

The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!

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Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche?

He was going through a midlife ISIS :(

Where do hipsters buy their clothes?

Most likely a thrift store or Urban Outfitters, TBH.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.