What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What begins with P ends with E and has thousands of letters?

The Post Office

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart"

Why would The Doctor and Storm get along?

Because he is the heart of the storm.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

How do you test a pirate for crabs?

Swab the deck!

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

What animal should you never play cards with?

A cheetah

What kind of cards do donkeys send out near Christmas?

A: Mule-tide greetings.

Spade Jokes More Spade Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Which playing card can turn its hand to everything?

Jack of all Spades

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What starts out happy but ends in tears?

Marriage

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

How can Euchre and Marriage be similar?

Sometimes you start out all hearts and diamonds, but end up wishing you had a club and a spade.