Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What is the only thing standing between me and being rich?

I haven't hit Reddit gold yet.

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a play about a dictionary?

A pun!

What position does the pig play in football?

Loinback.

Deck Jokes More Deck Jokes

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

Card Jokes More Card Jokes

Whats the worst animal to play cards with?

A Cheetah.

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ?

Because of all the cheetahs !

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship