Captain Jokes

Why was the Bhut Jolokia picked to be the captain of the cheer squad?

Because it was the hottest pepper.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ?

A major difference.

What does the captain of the USS Enterprise do for exercise?

Jean-Luc Picardio

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

How does captain hook cook pita bread?

With a pita pan.

How did the captain describe the newborn puppy?

son-of-a-b***h..!!!

Why didn't the sailors play cards on the deck?

Because the captain was sitting on the top of the deck.

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

What did the captain say to the men before they got on the boat?

Men, get on the boat."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?

Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining.

What did captain Kirk do in the head?

He Shatner.

What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink?

Picardi and coke

When fish play football who is the captain ?

The team's kipper !

Why did the captain execute the pastry chef?

Because his orders were to shoot all desserters.

Why couldn't the sailors play cards?

Because the Captain was stood on the deck!

Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse?

Take me to your Liederkranz.

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Captain Cook Jokes More Captain Cook Jokes

What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship?

Let's get on the ship, men!

Which pirate makes the best food?

Captain Cook.

Answer Jokes More Answer Jokes

Whats in his backpack?

Answer: Parachute

Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?

A: They got married in the spring.

Hot Pepper Jokes More Hot Pepper Jokes

Why was the Bhut Jolokia picked to be the captain of the cheer squad?

Because it was the hottest pepper.

What do you call a hot pepper with nothing inside it?

A hollowpeno

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why do pirates love football so much?

Cus they love to count YAAAARds.

How much did is cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear.

Major Difference Jokes More Major Difference Jokes

What's the only major difference between Cinco de Mayo and Saint Patrick's day?

Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.

What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ?

A major difference.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

Why can't your hear a pteradactyl go to the toilet?

Because the p is silent.

Mr. Spock Jokes More Mr. Spock Jokes

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three. One left ear, one right ear, and a Final Front-ear.