Captain America Jokes

Why does Black Widow love sitting on Captain America's shield?

Because it's made out of vibranium.

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Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What happens to Captain America when he dies?

He goes to the Evans

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

Who fought in the Civil War?

Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ....

What would Captain America be called if he fought in Vietnam?

You weren't there man

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What is Captain America's shield made of?

Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of **Quicksilver**

What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk?

A star-spangled banner

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Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What can I get you ?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

What will you be having to drink?

Harambe: I'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes, justice for Harambe.

Vietnam Jokes More Vietnam Jokes

Why did Vietnam revolt against the French?

Because they knew they would Nguyen.

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know cause you weren't there

Hulk Jokes More Hulk Jokes

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What do you get when you put two different vinaigrettes in your salad?

Cross-dressing

Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?

Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo?

they only had 2 trucks

What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common?

Their patients are 2'

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What do you can an epileptic What do you call an epileptic in a garden?

Seizure salad. edit: fixed the word 'call'

What's does America and programming have in common?

When you fix one problem, 38 more problems pop up.

Metallica Jokes More Metallica Jokes

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

What's your favorite song?

Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.