Poop Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

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What do you call a guy who can't poop?

A constipatient

How do you write poop in Australia?

dood

What do you call a Chatbook that consists solely of pictures of your poop?

A Shatbook.

What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

What time do monkeys poop?

Tree turdy.

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

Nine months.

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

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What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

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Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?

Total Eclipse of a Fart

Why can't you fart in an apple car?

It doesn't have windows.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

How does one sink, that which floats?

How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.

How can you tell that the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling out of sides of his mouth.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them!

Poope Jokes More Poope Jokes

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ???

bc it was a girl named sally and it pooped itself

How do you get out of an elephant?

Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

How about that airplane food?

Edit: I'm so sorry.

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.

Topic Jokes More Topic Jokes

Whats th first joke you remember hearing or that you told as a kid?

Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!