Poop Jokes

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!

What did one poop say to the other poop?

You smell

Why do bears poop in the woods?

So nobody will see their bare (bear) bottom!

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the Baskin-Robbins manager say to the employee that wanted to date a co-worker?

Don't poop where you scoop.

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

What does a witch take when she can't poop?

Hexlax

What did Noah do with all the poop?

Threw it overboard. it formed the UK. Taken from here:

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

How bad is it to poop your pants?

It Depends

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

What's the difference between a bucket of poop and a lawyer?

A bucket.

Where were you supposed to poop?

2-year-old: The potty. Me: So why didn't you 2: I'm too busy.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

How do you fail a urine test with a clean sample?

Poop in the specimen cup.

What is a small, one story home made of poop called?

A dungalow

What do you call it when your Stepmother poops?

A Step-Stool

What's brown and rhymes with poop?

Snoop Dogg

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

What does Hulk say when he poops?

IBM!

What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a sarcastic man who steps in poop?

Feces-tious

What do you call a poop that went to med school?

Dookie Howser

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

What does poop have in common with the Boston Rioters?

They're both revolting! *Baltimore. I clearly don't know my B-Cities.

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

You might also enjoy:

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

How does a pig write home?

With a pig pen.

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention?

It does not help to imagine people in their underwear.

Why do most people from Russia wear track suits?

Because they are Russin'

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What's slimy, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermits finger.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

How do you keep a blonde busy?

Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a page and hand it to her.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Golden State Warrior Jokes More Golden State Warrior Jokes

Where are the Golden State Warriors from?

Chokeland.

What do pencils, poop and Golden State Warriors have in common?

They are all #2s.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?

It's Gonna Be Pee"

Why did the prophylactic fly across the room?

It was peed off.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

What do you call a guy with no nuts and a horn on his head?

A eunucorn.