How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.

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Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

Why couldn't the poop get flushed down the drain?

Because it was deterred.

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What did the hot dog say on the toilet?

Mustuuurd

How do you print something when you've really got to go to the toilet?

You ctrl p.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

She sings with the other hand.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.