How can I waste ten seconds of someone's time and make total strangers hate me?

Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

it was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why doesn't china have casinos?

Because they hate Tibet.

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What did the first lesbian vampire say to the second lesbian vampire?

See you next month.

What is a joke that only makes sense in your own regional dialect/accent?

Sorry for a post that's not a joke but I'm interested. Here's one from where I am. These two ducks are flying over Ballymena. The first one says, "quack quack" and the second one says, "slow down! I'm coming as quack as I cyan."

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What do rappers use to write their lyrics?

Word,yo.

What do young ghosts write their homework in?

Exorcise books.

Waste Jokes More Waste Jokes

Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."