Credit card chip inventor - Me, writing tweets
They only work 10% of the time.
Tennish!
Because they hate waterboarding.
So blind people can hate them too
In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
They go back four seconds.
A ghost writer.
A ball point banana!
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.
A: Me for wasting hours editing and typing these damn things.
Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."
Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.
