Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What is true and false at the same time?

This

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How much storage do you need for a mouthful of dirt?

A Terra Bite

Why were the pirates on the ship fighting?

They needed better anchor management.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

How do you turn a computer into a zombie?

Send it a byte. Kind of lame but I couldn't help myself.

What did the zombie say at the urinal?

I'm reliving myself.

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where do tv's go on vacation?

To remote Islands

Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?

A: A new bar

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What did Beethoven do when he died?

Decompose.

What does the calm zombie say to the agitated zombie?

Decompose yourself.