Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's the difference between Valve and uranium?

Uranium gets to its half-life on time.

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence...

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting?

You only need one nail to hold up a picture.

What Does A Chinese Man Need When Taking his Dog Out?

Oven mitts.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

What do you call a terrorist on vacation?

Aloha ackbar

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the mathematician stressed out?

He was in a dilemma.

What stresses fish out the most?

Current events.

Decompose Jokes More Decompose Jokes

What did Beethoven do when he died?

Decompose.

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.