Decompose Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

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What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

What's Mozart doing?

decomposing.

What is Beethoven doing right now?

Decomposing.

Why's the necrophiliac's blow up doll half inflated?

So he can pretend she's decomposing.

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

What's Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's decomposing.

What is mozart doing nowadays?

Decomposing

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What does the calm zombie say to the agitated zombie?

Decompose yourself.

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

What do songwriters do after they die?

They decompose

What do you think Mozart is doing right now?

Decomposing.

What did Beethoven do when he died?

Decompose.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did the Italian die?

Talking while driving.

What do you call a hundred year old man who dies in the library?

Overdue

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't need a lightbulb when I have the furnace ready.

Stress Jokes More Stress Jokes

Why was the plumber stressed?

He had a high pressure job

Why was the doctor so stressed out?

He lost his patients...

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Why are mummys scared of vacation?

They're afraid to unwind.

What did the hungry terrorist say when he went on a vacation to Hawaii?

ALOHA SNACKBAR***

Grave Jokes More Grave Jokes

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

How do Ethiopian parents celebrate their child's first birthday?

By putting flowers on its grave.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the first thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 victims?

Their knees! Please comment "No"

What is the difference between a sociopath and a buddhist?

A sociopath sees people as things a buddhist sees things as people.