Pull Jokes

What did the elephant say?

What did the elephant say when it was pulled out of a pit by the Balls? Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Ball!

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What do a horny guy and a bad driver have in common?

They are both bad at pulling out.

This joke may have profanity.

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What do you call it when you play tug-of-war with a pig?

Pulled pork.

What do you do if a blonde person throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back

What did the fisherman say to the sewage management person?

Would you pull that crap with a net?

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

Why are fire trucks red?

You would be too if someone was pulling on your hose all day.

How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same?

They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

What do a trickster and a multiplicative inverse function have in common?

They both want to pull 1 over on you.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did it take a strong thief to steal a manhole cover?

Because only he could pull it off.

How do you get certified as an interior decorator?

You don't pull out

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

What do you call people who use the pull out method?

Parents

What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

Why is pulling out 100% effective for superman?

They never survive the 1000ft fall to earth.

This joke may have profanity.

What was the best magic trick Osama Bin Laden ever pulled?

He made the World Trade Center disappear.

Why don't Brazilians wear condoms?

Because they all pull out.

Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?

Because if they had pulled them by their feet they would have filled up with mud

Why is a fire truck always red?

Cause you'd be mad too if someone kept pulling your hose.

Why did kurt pull the trigger?

He couldn't get hole out of his head

What's the difference between the stock market and women?

With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?

Skip

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What does your girlfriend and my garage have in common?

I pull out of both of them.

How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes?

You pull down their genes.

What did the snowman do when he saw a snow blower go by?

Pull down his pants.

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common?

The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!

What does Iraq and Bristol Palin have in common?

Both of them are hard to pull out of.

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

Why did the cz-75 get the girl pregnant?

It took too long to pull out.

Why should you date a Greek woman?

They don't like pulling out.

How do you know a gypsy woman is pregnant?

You put a piece of wire in her and if you feel pulling she is indeed pregnant.

What do a woman and a grenade have in common?

Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snowblower coming

What did the sign convention management do to the woman who kept pulling down their long signs?

Banner.

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

How can a black woman tell if she is pregnant?

When she goes to pull out her tampon and all the cotton's been picked.

Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?

Because he was good at pulling weed

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

Why did Al Gore go to the dentist for a tooth pulling?

He had an Inconvenient Tooth.

Why aren't there any baby Transformers?

Because Auto-Bots pull out!

How can you tell a black lady is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!

What's the difference between me and a dentist?

The dentist pulls it out when it hurts.

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.