Why are Catholics the worst drivers?

They always pull out at the last second (usually to avoid a child).

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?

Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years? Michael Jackson

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common?

It's just so hard to pull out.

Why didn't the patient sue the dentist for pulling the wrong tooth?

Because it was accidental.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

Bad Driver Jokes More Bad Driver Jokes

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?

Cause she was a woman

Why is helen keller a bad driver?

Because she's dead

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

How does a barber avoid getting hair in his food?

By giving her a Brazilian wax first!

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money?

PayPal

Which punchline do you like better?

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks a) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit