What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why are there school shootings?

Mr.Garrison: "Let's start the day with a world news question. Why are there school shootings?" The media: "Violent video games?" Mr.Garrison: "Okay, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.

Who let the docs out?

Google. Google docs.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same?

They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

How do you know if a black lady is pregnant?

If she pulls out her tampon and all the cotton has been picked.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?

A barrel organ.

Why don't women drink beer at the beach?

Because they'll get sand in their Schlitz.

Convince Jokes More Convince Jokes

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.

Why did you ticket the computer?

Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?

Policeman: It was a moving violation.

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

Bad Way Jokes More Bad Way Jokes

What is the worst way to find out you just came into money?

via sticky notes

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."