What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How do you keep getting in here?

ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.

Why shouldn't you let the scientists have an antelope?

They'll turn it into a bombardeer

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What mustache can an alien not pull off?

A human chu

What do you do if someone's choking?

Pull back a few inches

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

How do People in New Orleans have their beer?

Watered Down

Convince Jokes More Convince Jokes

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

How have you got that body?

I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did you ticket the computer?

Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

Bad Way Jokes More Bad Way Jokes

What's the worst way to lose your job?

By firing squad.

What is the worst way to find out you just came into money?

via sticky notes