Convince Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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Why did man invent curling?

To convince women sweeping was a sport.

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-nile...

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

This is a joke I came up with. Q: How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb? A: There's no need to change it when you can easily convince everyone that it still works, but they've gone blind.

Why did the blonde have an Abortion?

She wasn't convinced the baby was hers.

This joke may have profanity.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

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Ernie Jokes More Ernie Jokes

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream?

Sure, Bert!

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream?

Sure, Bert!

De Jokes More De Jokes

What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan?

a Rama-dana-ding-dong

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

Nile Jokes More Nile Jokes

What is the river of negation called?

The Nile

Who is the richest person in the Bible?

The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a raft full of black people?

Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies.

How do you make an Ethiopian grow?

Just add water.

Abortion Jokes More Abortion Jokes

Why are there no nice cars in heaven?

Because abortions float.

What's the best part about abortions?

They never get old

Benefit Jokes More Benefit Jokes

What are some benefits to living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus.

Why do Mimes have no benefits?

Because they never speak up.

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

How many years of experience do you have?

50 - Really You are 40 years old - I had lots of overtime

What experience do you have plucking chickens?

Me: See all those hairs on my chin No. Me: Exactly.

Sweep Jokes More Sweep Jokes

What's the latest big thing to sweep across Japan?

The ocean.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?

Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.