Why did the blonde have an Abortion?

She wasn't convinced the baby was hers.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a stork that doesn't bring babies?

A swallow

What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

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What's the best part about abortions?

They never get old

How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts?

Fetus Deletus

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What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?