Water Jokes

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

What is steam?

Its what you get when you put water on my mixtape

What is similar between gas and water?

Not much, but in Flint they are both regular and unleaded

What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What's the difference between an accident and a catastrophe?

It's an accident if a boat full of refugees starts to take in water. A catastrophe is if they know how to swim

Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What should be done in case of apparent drowning?

Take the parent out of the water

Why does the ocean have water?

Because the sky is

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

What did water say when ice farted?

Ice melt it.

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

Why do scuba divers fall into the water backwards off the boat?

Because if they went forward they'd be in the boat

What body of water separates Italy from the word 'goodbye'?

River Derci. Sorry.

Why are you not able to boil water in a tauntaun?

Because they're not real.

What do you call a fish out of water?

Asians? Idk it's been a rough day.

Why did the Kenyans win the marathon?

They heard there was water at the end

What do you call a armless, legless man in water?

Bob.

What did the homeowner say to the fruit growing gardener?

Water me lawn

What kind of water do you put into a waterbed?

Spring water

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

What water does Snake drink?

Big Voss.

What do you call water that hasn't been changed?

Still, water.

Why can't black people swim?

Because there is no water in Africa.

How do you keep water warn in the winter?

Have it wear an aqua-fur.

Why did the water turn into steam?

It mistbehaved

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

Why do photons travels slower through water?

They having a float-on. it very good

What is trees' preferred drug?

Water. It helps them get high.

What did Diane Feinstein say when her water broke?

Quick we need to get to the abortion clinic before it's too late!

This joke may have profanity.

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

What do you call a raft full of black people?

Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies.

What is the difference between a boat and a woman?

The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut.

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

What do you call an old snowman?

Water.

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

What do you call it when water is poured over a clock?

Time dilution.

Where does Russia get its water from?

De-stalinization plants

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water?

It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."

Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end?

It was unmiscible.

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water?

What do you call it when you throw a black person in the water? Pollution What do you call it when you throw all the black people in the water? Solution.