What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

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What's the russian royalty's favorite type of fish?

Czar-dines!

Why should you never buy Russian jeans?

Chernobyl fallout

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What kind of water do ducks drink?

Bottled Waddle.

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

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How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

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What's the Russian word for water?

Vodka

What's the Russian word for Internet outage?

Internjet