How do redditors get their water?

From a well, actually

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What kind of water do ducks drink?

Bottled Waddle.

What's the big deal about jesus turning water into wine?

I turned MY student loans into vodka...

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How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.

What's the difference between redditors and eggs?

Eggs get laid.