How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What would be your reply?

Someone stops you in the middle of the road and asks you to tell him a good joke, What would be your reply?

Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor?

STOP RESISTING!!!"

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Why did the vegetables hop into the boiling pot of water?

They were part of a stewicide pact.

What do you call an uneven body of water?

An inconsistensea.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

What's the difference between Anders Breivik and a pro golfer?

Both were happy to shoot 69, but only Breivik went to jail.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What did the drowning number theorist say?

logloglogloglogloglogloglogloglog

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call a bunch of pro wrestlers hitting each other with blocks of cheddar and wheels of gouda?

Battle Royale with cheese.

When you are hit in the... - ball boy https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=rMMFHcRSjR8

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did the lawyers say when they finished their basketball game?

Court is adjourned

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part