Olive Jokes

What was the other reindeer's name?

Olive.

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What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

What did the Olive say when it fell off the table?

I'll live...

Why is there an olive in your water?

Me: What water Oh yeah this, this is definitely water.

How would you describe that green sheep?

Me: I don't know. Olive ewe Her: I knew you'd say it first! I love you too! Entrapment 101

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

What kind of olives do I like?

Olive them

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

How did Popeye keep his tool clean?

NSFW He dipped it in Olive Oyl

This joke may have profanity.

What's a martini's favorite garnish?

Olive 'em!

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Why don't U2's lawyers ever make any money?

All their work is pro Bono.

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

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What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil?

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Where do you get 'Extra Virgin' olive oil?

Really ugly olives.

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Why did the midget get slapped?

Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.

Which state smells the worst?

The Prostate

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Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

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How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

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What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

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What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?

A: A hobby horse.

Who is there?

A person that likes to tell anti jokes.

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Why did Hydrogen hurt Iron?

Because he wanted to see him Sulfur.

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against