How are martinis like breasts?

They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Breast Jokes More Breast Jokes

What do women and KFC have in common?

One you are finished with the breast and the thighs, you still have a greasy box to put your bone

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in

Martini Jokes More Martini Jokes

How does Liam Neeson like his martini?

Taken, not stirred.

What do a baby and a martini have in common?

I prefer both of them shaken

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?

If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

What was shaken and is now stirred?

Haiti.

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.