What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before.

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How do you get a German out of the bath?

A: Turn on the water.

Why can't blondes make Kool Aid?

Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.

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What's the difference between the jokes from today and next week's jokes?

The posters.

What's faster than a black man with your TV?

His son with your DVD player! I mean no racism in this joke*

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Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy?

A Muslim

What do you call a deer without eyes?

No-eye deer! Note: we are from Hicksville, USA. This may not make sense without the Midwestern accent.