Usually they prefer to be called "officer"
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I just booked a cook for cooking the books."
You can have my beer if you let me go."
Officer -Sir, get out of the car.
I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the boot and there she was."
Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
Officer: I'm making a house arrest
Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.
demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.
Officer
Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
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They both got their fur low.
Officer on doody.
Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.
He wasn't white and that wasn't right, we found he was black, and that was whack, so we shot him in the back.
Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"
The officer.
A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.
The officer hadn't read him his rights.
Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.
A: Two: One to hold it one to hammer it in.
Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.
Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry
O Cristor Redundant
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Nothing, they both run, jump, shoot and steal.
Ex-Benedict.
Ex-Benedict
Justice isn't always black and white
When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.
A ditch.
He got cut from the naval base.
I said, "I Excel at it." He replied, "Was that a Microsoft Office pun " I was like, "Word."
I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost
A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.
A Tupac...
