What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do Jimmy Saville's victims and Aston Villa fans have in common?

They're still talking about what happened in 1982.

Why is it easy to talk to people who earn little pay?

Because they make cents!

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you do when you see a floating T.V. in the middle of the night?

Tell Jamal to drop it

Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist?

He couldn't stop dropping the base!

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him?

He had -ity!

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

How is a woman who got her winter coat at Target similar to an officer on leave?

They both got their fur low.

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."