What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common?

There used to be exactly two, and now it's too offensive to talk about.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why didn't the NSA request AT&ampT's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

Why didn't the Mexican guy at work take out the trash at work when I asked him?

He had -ity!

How much time does a black woman takes to take out the trash?

9 months

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you?

You can have my beer if you let me go."

How high are you! ?

demanded the officer. "No Officer, it's "Hi, how are you "." replied the kid.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?

Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?

Policeman: It was a moving violation.