Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What did the duck say to the cashier after buying some red lipstick?

Just put it on my bill

What pen company did Lance Armstrong buy?

Uniball

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

What do you tell an Irishman if you catch him urinating?

European.

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA?

Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters.

What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?

Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the bird get a ticket?

A: It broke the law of gravity!

How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter?

Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback