Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the pulse say to the legume as he left?

Lentil next time.

What football position did the forever alone play?

Left Out

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

Why can't mites race in NASCAR?

Because mites make rights, not lefts.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

Why are you putting handcuffs on that building?

Officer: I'm making a house arrest

What's the hurry?

Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.

Drunk Man Jokes More Drunk Man Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.